Project Sporked Penguin

2005-12-02T14:44:00.000-05:00

"Thanksgiving"

What are you thankful for? I am thankful for a lot of things... This is what this holiday is about. It is about reflecting back on your life. It is an optimists holiday. You don't focus on the negative on Thanksgiving. It's all about the good. But some people don't see it that way; for one reason or another, this holiday only serves to depress them...

2005-07-22T07:45:00.000-04:00

"Labor"

It is the summertime, and as such many of the kids here in the US have went and found summer jobs. Or at least are still trying. The economy isn't exactly great, an in that spirit, many older people have been filling jobs traditionally taken by the younger persons. Jobs are becoming more rare. College grads have their work cut out for them. The only job with REALLY high demand is military. To make things worse for American job seekers, many large companies are outsourcing their jobs. But as bad as things are in the States, the grass is NOT greener on the other side. In fact the grass is brown, and the grass is only a small patch barely holding out amongst a gravel lot. Think your summer job sucks...

2005-07-09T07:19:00.000-04:00

"Insanity"

Unfortunately for human beings, life isn't easy. Even worse, many people can't handle the stress; they snap. These people have problems. Don't get me wrong, everybody has problems, but these people have real problems, bad problems. Need examples? Look at Charles Manson, Ted Bundy, and Jeffery Dahmer Some people are born predisposed to such travesties. Others have an unfortunate event trigger the madness that ensues; this event could be the death of a loved one, a bad day at work, or even the chance meeting of two strangers...

2005-07-04T05:18:00.000-04:00

"Fanatics"

Happy B-day to the USA. Due to lack of access to a scanner as well as little time... well who cares right?

Fanatics... we all know at least one. Those crazy people who are at every sporting event, wearing nothing but shorts and body paint in support of their team. It doesn't matter that it's 10 below freezing, and it doesn't matter that their team is down several points and has no chance of winning. Fanatics swear by their obsession. They divert all of their energy to it. Don't ask a Trekie to choose between food and a limited edition Mr. Spock Bobblehead. They just won't eat. It is always nice to like something or to have interests. That is what keeps life from becoming mundane. However, all interests can turn into vices and could cause irreversable damage to one's health, one's relationships, and especially one's social life...

2005-06-10T05:02:00.000-04:00

"Immigration Policy"

I was listening to some talk radio about 2 days ago when I heard something disturbing. It turns our that Latin Americans are now the largest majority, not only because they are crossing the border, but also because they are out breeding all other Americans. It is estimated that 1 in 5 children in the U.S.A. are Hispanic, and the Hispanic population is growing at about 3% (compared to Caucasian birth rate of about .3%). Now nobody wants to talk about border control for fear of alienating the Latin vote. But it must be done. The border must be protected, especially when one has to worry about terrorism. So if nobody else will talk about it, then PSP must. Why? Because we are not afraid of losing the Hispanic vote, because we know that what is right is right, because we are idiots...

2005-06-02T11:22:00.000-04:00

"Reconcilliation"

Under intense pressure, I pushed out this one. I've been quite busy of late... No matter. Hopefully I'll post more regularly starting on the 10th of June 2005. Ok, now on to the post.

Forgiveness. It's a simple idea. It's easy to say, too. However, due to human nature it is very difficult and even sometimes impossible to do. To forgive is divine, as half of the ancient adage reads. The problem is that we all step on someone else's toes (to err is human) every now and again. We must take it upon ourselves not only to forgive, but to ask for forgiveness, lest something terrible happen...

2005-04-20T23:57:00.000-04:00

"PSP Interview 1"

It's been too long.. so here it is. PSP has gotten an exclusive interview with a big time entertainer. Enjoy...

2005-03-23T17:23:00.000-05:00

"Uncleanliness"

THIS IS DEFINATELY NOT SAFE TO LOOK AT IN THE WORKPLACE (or school, etc.)

It's official... I'm going to hell. I know it. So do you. Let's not kid around anymore. All doubts about my hell-boundedness will be erased by the next comic. There are many ways that one can feel unclean. For instance, one can wallow in the mud for hours and then feel physically unclean, or one can just find a loved one cheating on him/her and feel emotionally unclean. However, what I feel now... it's different. A different type of uncleanliness, a sort of fire and brimstone type of uncleanliness. I can't help it. I've already drawn it and colored it. It is already uploaded. I just felt so sorry for him. I just felt so sorry for Charlie Brown. I had to do it...

2005-03-20T16:02:00.000-05:00

"Feeding"

No matter how you put a spin on it, humans, just like all animals, have to eat. And, let me shatter a common misconception: Humans created pure vegetarianism. Herbivorous animals (a.k.a. plant eaters) are named so not because they only eat plants, but because the primarily eat plants. In fact, I have a picture of a giraffe chewing on a bone. My best friend has one of a squirrel picking the meat off of a bone. The same holds true for carnivores. Any animals will eat anything if it means survival. If a cow were out of grass, and you were stuck in a bear trap... just kidding, a cow would then commence to eat insects or scavenge meat from bones. But what about Muppets? We all know that Cookie Monster eats cookies and that Oscar the Grouch eats children. Have you ever wondered if Kermit the Frog, before he was a big time journalist and before the money was guaranteed, ever looked at Ms. Piggy as a possible dinner? A side of bacon? Ham? A slab of pork ribs? What about the other characters? We rarely see the feeding side of many muppets. Why do you think that is?...

2005-03-16T15:39:00.000-05:00

"Accidents"

It is in my professional opinion, and I do stress professional, that there are no such things as accidents. In fact, I believe that this whole thing, EVERYTHING, was planned in advanced. We humans seem to think that because we have no control over it, it is an accident. It is a tool that we use to get us to sleep at night. We don't realize that someone-or more likely something-is out to get us. Why do good things happen to bad people? Why do bad things happen to good people? It is all planned out, a test of our sanity. I had planned on posting last week, but exams and assignments kept popping up, out of nowhere. But that's minor. The "planners" have spared me. Of course, these "planners" have it out for some people more than others...

2005-03-01T15:48:00.000-05:00

"Hard times"

There is nothing like struggle to bring people together. 9/11 brought people together, the World Wars and the Great Depression did the same thing. It is often said that people are social beings. I agree, but we are only social out of necessity. If we didn't need eachother to survive, someone would have "cleansed" the earth already. It is hard times that forces interactions between people; it is hard times that get people motivated. Hard times also make people do extraordinary or unusual things. Mothers have been known to lift cars off of their children. It is amazing the distances we'll travel, the accomplisments we'll attain, and the lows we'll sink to in order to survive those hard times...

2005-02-07T11:25:00.000-05:00

"Destroying Childhood Icons"

I am out of control: I have taken on many childhood icons, including some of my personal favorites. I am partially responsible for the perversion of our youth (assuming that they look at this site and that they can read, both of which is unlikely). Because of my destruction of innocence, I am probably going to hell. I have taken on well over 50 different childhoon icons. Is there anyone left to make fun of? OF COURSE!!! As long as PBS, Disney, Nickolodian, Cartoon Network, Warner Bros., etc keep pumping out childhood icons, I can keep pummeling them with my good ol'freedom of speech. This weeks victims are the Care Bears. But I couldn't possibly pervert these cute, cuddly, and overly wholesome creatures, could I?...

2005-01-30T20:58:00.000-05:00

"Role models"

As promised, here is your post for this week. Like I said in last weeks comic, I have the comic for the week following this one. But, I also have started another one for two weeks from now. So I can promise that you will have one next week, then another the following week, but anyway...

Childhood is supposed to be a time of innocence, a time for exploring the world around us. It is during childhood when we choose (or are given) our personality. For instance, a boy who chooses Wolverine as their favorite Xman will probably become a shameless smart@$$, some boy who picks Gambit will most likely be "smooth," and any lad who opts for Cyclops will grow up to be a brown-nosing suckup and have a successful life as a yes-man. Boys that like playing with balls, like footballs and basketballs, are more likely to become men that like to play with Barbies. Likewise, little boys that like to play with Barbie dolls are more likely to grow up and become men who play with balls, as in testes. Of course, there are exceptions. My point is that it is important for children to pick his/her role models well. So it is on the parents to help screen those possible negative influences. Unfortunately, this is no easy task; sometimes those who seem the most innocent can wreak havoc on one's personality through their influence...

2005-01-27T09:25:00.000-05:00

"Practical Jokes"

So much for every Friday! I WILL post next week and the week after since I've already made the comics for those weeks.

It's not even April yet, not even close to the practical joker's reason for living: April fools. For those of you unfamiliar with this concept, it is a day when lies, pranks, and other shenanigans run amok. It is also the first day of April. Nevertheless, a true prankster always has something up his sleeve regardless of the day; he or she may not carry through with their plans, but they are planning... always. Just recently someone in my dorm took snow and put it on another dormmate's bed, which is a horrible thing to do. Almost as horrible as making someone watch the OC or some other teen drama. This brings me to my point. Sometimes pranks go too far, you can wind up hurting someone's feelings, alienating a friend, or (even worse) unleashing a terror that will change the landscape forever...

2004-10-29T16:04:00.000-04:00

"Christmas season already?"

Before I start:

I have decided, because of time constraints and the lack of decent inspiration, to limit my posts to about once a week. I will probably update every Friday. As you can tell, I hadn't posted in a while. But I will do so more often. So the two of you who are reading this can rejoice. If I have more time and inspiration I'll update more. I am also trying to up the quality of the comics. Your opinion would be nice... Now on to the show!

It isn't even Halloween yet. Why is it that when I walk into a store I see Xmas decorations? Cardinal McFlint (Responsibility I (4/15/04) and II (7/28/04)) would have a seizure if he saw it. Have we Americans just decided to skip over our beloved November holiday, Thanksgiving? Is commercialization really that strong that we can just skip over both Halloween and Thanksgiving? Hmmm... well, as nature dictates: "evolve or die." I will keep up with the trends, as Walmart has told me that it's Christmas season, here is an Xmas comic...

2004-09-02T13:27:00.000-04:00

"The cluck is for vengeance"

2004-09-01T13:08:00.000-04:00

"PSP Chronicles: The President's Involvement"

Here is the second installment of PSP chronicles.

2004-08-31T14:50:00.000-04:00

"Ethnic Diversity"

Very few rational people would argue that diversity is a bad thing. In fact, Darwin says that it is variability that drives evolution. In terms of organisms, humans are probably the smartest. This leads me to believe that it is only out of hate that we try to eliminate our own diversity. Genocides are bad. Any ethnic cleansing should immeadiately catch the eye of the global community and be stopped, it makes me wonder why there has been no response to some of the attrocities currently going on...

2004-08-30T15:23:00.000-04:00

"A memorial to a dying art"

The Olympics aren't/didn't do so well, so I decided to give them a little free advertisment here on PSP. Maybe the little bit of traffic will cause a resurgence of interest in the competition...

2004-08-29T13:56:00.000-04:00

"Full-contact"

*Warning: I am about to evoke a stereotype, and, as with all stereotypes it isn't universally true but has some grains of honesty in there. Also thanks to Dside for such a wonderful idea.* Men are violent. They want to see things get hit and hurt. That is why football (American football), wrestling, boxing, etc. are so popular. It is the contact. What if everything were like that? I wonder how the world would cope with, say, full contact golf or full-contact poker, or even full contact critism...

2004-08-28T13:59:00.000-04:00

"Retirement"

You spend most of your life working. Then comes the golden age when you can just sit back and relax, right? Wrong!! You have a whole new set of problems to worry about. You have to worry about money, children/grandchildren, greedy heirs, and voting. But perhaps the thing that you must worry about most of all is the retirement home...

2004-08-27T13:30:00.000-04:00

"Fairy Tales"

Everybody loves, or at least a some point loved, a good fairy tale. Usually they conjure up vivid childhood images such as princesses, dragons, knights, trolls, WMD's, and other imaginary objects. There are some that are part of every child's upbringing, like Cinderella, Snow White, and Sleeping Beauty. Then there are those that didn't make the cut...

2004-08-26T13:09:00.000-04:00

"Rutherford is back"

Everyone's favorite penguin is back... but where is his spork?

2004-08-25T17:24:00.000-04:00

"Competition"

In today's world, with prices rising and people getting fired, it is kind of important to have competition amoungst companies. A monopoly would lead to astronomical prices that would not be fair. But because of competition, we are able to buy cheap goods. Besides, a little friendly competition never hurt anyone...

2004-08-24T13:15:00.000-04:00

"Curiosity killed the cat..."

We have all at one point heard the cliché "curiousity killed the cat." The purpose behind this is to prevent us from puting ourselves in bad situations by asking too many questions. But all of science is based on curiosity. So like so many things it has it's good and bad sides. One thing is certain too much of anything, including curiousity, is a very bad thing...

2004-08-23T15:11:00.000-04:00

"Odds"

Humans find great comfort in underdog stories. People who make it, in spite of the situations they are put in. We love to see the weakling guy with the tape on his glasses, a ketchup stain on his pocket protector, and a blue mouth from where the pen leaked defeat the Olympic wrestler in an arm wrestling match. Overcoming the odds are great and the feeling of accomplishment is worth the trouble. But there is so much more that makes it worthwhile, SO much more...

2004-08-22T14:52:00.000-04:00

"Safety"
In a perfect world, all men and women would be able to get along. All beasts and plants would have adequate nutrients without having to resort to killing something. Unfortunately for all creatures we don't live in a paradise, and by extension, we all live in a place in which we have to compete. For one thing to live, something else must die. It is the way of the world. Humans, moreover, take competition to the ultimate extreme. Animals (at least to my knowledge) lack the capacity for pride. They compete merely for survival. We sometimes view competition as the end, instead of the means. This leads us to some bad situations, in which we must be paranoid and fear for our safety...

2004-08-21T15:25:00.000-04:00

"Crime"

One of the most hilarious things to watch is a program about "dumb" criminals. Indeed, crime doesn't pay. They say there are a million things that can go wrong during any specific robbery and if you can figure out 1000 of them you are a genious. But even if the crime goes well, there is always the matter of the getaway...

2004-08-20T14:59:00.000-04:00

"Life"

What is the meaning of life? Why are we here and where did we come from? All of these questions are tough ones. They aren't meant to be answered. Do we really want to know the answers. Yes, you idiot! Why else would we ask? But should we know? No. Somethings we should not even attempt to answer...

2004-08-19T14:34:00.000-04:00

"Senility"

As of this moment right now I am only 21 years old, yet that has not stoped me from complaining about my age. I already feel those aches and pains that come with age. I already forget things that I probably shouldn't. Yes, I already know how my life will be. I plan on being senile. I will be that man on his porch, sitting in a rocking chair, sporting nothing but a diaper and an axe (oh and by the way, I will live in a treeless neighborhood), my only companion being a one-legged German shepherd name Butch. No you don't have to be old to be senile, but age helps...

2004-08-18T11:08:00.000-04:00

"Project Sporked Penguin (PSP) Chronicles: The Beginnings"

It occured to me that I never explained what Project Sporked Penguin was, how it came about, etc. There are many legends about how Rutherford (the Penguin) came into being. Some people have said that it was something like divine intervention. They know very little, or nothing. Very few people do. I, Señor Penguin, am one of them. So from time to time I will impart on you some history, something that will have to stay between me and the few people I have audience with. I will begin the Chronicles now...

2004-08-17T11:03:00.000-04:00

"Conclusion: Beaver Isle" (see 6/26/04 and 7/5/04)

It is time to conclude the saga on Beaver Isle. Pay attention because this will be very important to coming comics...

2004-08-16T10:57:00.000-04:00

"Drugs II" (see 5/20/04)

I know that we here at PSP make a lot of fun of drugs, but they are no laughing matter. you can live without drugs. Find a way. Get a hobby or a girlfriend. As for me, what keeps Señor Penguin off of smack? Well...

2004-08-15T10:52:00.000-04:00

"Choices II" (see 4/29/04)

As you all know, humans have choices (unless you are under a ruthless dictator...). But so do a lot of other animals. Hamsters eat some of their babies. Deer choose which meadow to graze in. But you don't have to be a living creature to have a choice...

2004-08-14T10:45:00.000-04:00

"Autumn"

Autumn (a.k.a. Fall) is a time of great change. It is the time when children of all ages, race, and persuasion put there differences aside for the mutual hatred of returning to school. It is a time when nature enthusiasts go to look at the leaves changing color, from green to red, brown, yellow, black, and other not green colors. But autumn isn't ONLY about torturing children and tripping out on leaves. Quite the contrary, as autumn approaches sports fans light up: football season's beginnings and, of course, baseball's postseason...

2004-08-13T10:40:00.000-04:00

"News to help you sleep better at night"

And now more news to help you sleep better at night...

2004-08-12T10:28:00.000-04:00

"For the good of all?"

Some questions need to be answered. Others need to be ignored (there are no stupid questions but a ton of inquisitive morons). Some questions affect everyone. For example, how come superheroes always have enough time to save the world on a regular basis...

2004-08-11T10:22:00.000-04:00

"PSP: Fad killers"

We here at PSP are proud of our record of anti-fadism. In fact, we have killed Pokémon (7/19/04 and 7/22/04) and will continue to destroy all fads as we see fit, or until the day we become a fad, whichever comes first. We also take pleasure in destroying your childhood icons. But it wouldn't be enough to destroy them, would it? NO!!!! I must destroy current icons as well. So in the spirit of fairness...

2004-08-10T09:31:00.000-04:00

"Spin"

It is an election year in the USA and therefore, I should say something about spin. Don't believe the hype, everything that is said about a canidate isn't true. Politicians hire people to distort the truth. Almost any statement could be turned around on someone. For example, look at this statement: "I LOVE my new Sealy Mattress because before I aquired one, I was always ROLLING AROUND IN BED ALL NIGHT; I had to lull myself to sleep WITH a CD of Marvin GAYE'S." Now read aloud the bold parts. It is pretty east to do. But spin is not only found in politics...

2004-08-09T11:03:00.000-04:00

"Diets"

Need to lose weight? Well there are plenty of options available. There are pills and suppliments, such as Stacker2. There are procedures like stomach stapling and liposuction. There are regular diets such as Atkins and the Subway diet. And of course there is good old exercise. Each have there strong and weak points. Whatever you decide, just don't get too carried away...

2004-08-08T09:51:00.000-04:00

"Sacrifice II" (see 5/7/2004)

There are several levels of good. For instance, during war, you can do what is best for you personally (i.e. run to the National Guard, or Canada, if you are an American) or you could do what is best for your country and go to war. Your personal good versus the good of your country, and of course there is what is good for the world. Sometimes it is best for you to just give something up so that the world is a much better place...

2004-08-07T10:24:00.000-04:00

"Activism"

All humans have emotions and, by extention, all humans care about something. It is an election year in the USA, and the policies of the next four years (and maybe even forever) will be affected by what happens in November. I encourage all of you, no matter what your view is to get active (peacefully). No matter what the cause is, make your mark on this world (peacefully). If you are against or stand for something let it be known, whether your issue is human rights, war vs. peace, or even the line between morality and science...

2004-08-06T12:30:00.000-04:00

"Promises"

There is an old saying that goes "A man is only as good as his word." And for the most part I agree with that. Generally, the more honest the person is, the better (although there are times when honesty just goes too far see "Honesty" 6/28/04). Sometimes it is hard to keep one's promises, especially when there is a conflict of interest involved...

2004-08-05T20:23:00.000-04:00

"Betrayal" pt.2 (see 5/12/04)

Love hurts, but it hurts more when betrayal is somehow involved. When you put so much emotion into something, when you give your all to someone, when you let them become your whole world, you leave yourself extremely vulnerable. So when someone betrays that, all that emotion doesn't leave immeadiately. It transforms into pain, sorrow, and sometimes rage...murderous rage...

2004-08-04T13:17:00.000-04:00

"Commercial Spoof" #2 (see 8/3/2004)

Here is another commercial spoof...

2004-08-03T13:15:00.000-04:00

"Commercial Spoof"

We here at PSP are glad to present you with a commercial spoof...

2004-08-02T13:10:00.000-04:00

"Cheating"

There are all kinds of ways to cheat. One can cheat on a spouse/lover, one can cheat on a test, one can cheat in a game, etc. In fact, cheating has different meanings depending on the context. One common definition is using an unfair advantage in order to win a competition. Yes, we have all cheated in something at one point in time. Even superheros find themselves unable to resist the temptation to cheat...

2004-08-01T13:05:00.000-04:00

"Anger"

Anger is a rough emotion, yet it is necessary. Anger leads to all kind of problems: war, murder, robbery, etc. Everybody gets angry at something. However, we are lucky in that everybody's anger can be vented properly. And there is help for those who struggle with venting. As long as you have the money, there is nobody who can't become a normal, happy functioning member of society...

2004-07-31T13:01:00.000-04:00

"Salesmanship"

In one song sung by the R&B group "Dru Hill," ODB (a rapper featured on the song) says that he can "sell an Eskimo a fan." Now there are people who are good at their jobs and then there is the ability to sell a cooling device in a cold climate. Indeed, somebody with that amount of skill can truly sell anything to anyone, no matter what the product is...

2004-07-30T12:54:00.000-04:00

"Questions"

All questions have answers. We humans with our finite minds can't always find the answer. It is man's purpose in life, being the curious little creatures that we are, to explore and find out more answers. Well PSP is about to answer an "age-old" question that has plagued children for years...

2004-07-29T12:53:00.000-04:00

"Annoyances" pt. 2 (see 5/16/2004)

Many things annoy us these days, but few are as annoying as stupid commercials. Stupid commercials are a waste of good tv time, and tv, in general, is a waste of time. This makes stupid commercials at least 2x more annoying than most annoyances. Luckily for you, PSP is willing to do something about it...

2004-07-28T12:40:00.000-04:00

"Responsibility" pt.2 (4/15/2004)

Well I've done some stupid things in my life. And there comes a time when you must take responsibility for what you've done. I must apologize for not posting. It is a responsibility of mine, and speaking of responsibility, I wonder how old Cardinal McFlint's crusade against Christmas commercialization is going right now...

2004-07-27T16:22:00.000-04:00

"Abuse"

There are many types of abuse. Child abuse, drug abuse, spouse abuse, etc. If you are a victim of abuse, then please contact the proper authorities. That having been said, you should celebrate your ability to report to authorities, because there is a specific type of abuse in which the victim could not get help for him/herself...

2004-07-26T05:07:00.000-04:00

"Reality Shows"

I pretty much hate all reality shows. I don't, and WON'T, watch them. How can people call them "reality" when life is actually filled with war, murder, death, destruction, and hip-hop? That is my fundamental problem with them, the fact that they aren't reality. But they are entertaining, and it is in that spirit that I present this...

2004-07-25T05:04:00.000-04:00

"Friendship" pt.2 (see 4/18/2004)

This one is dedicated to a friend. He gave me the idea for several comics and THIS is how I thank him...

2004-07-24T04:53:00.000-04:00

"Beauty"

It is true that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. There is no other logical explanations for some of the choices for mates that humans pick. Different people look for different things in a mate. African-Americans tend to go for the more "curvacious" women. Other people are only attracted to slender blondes. So in truth, if beauty is in the eye of the beholder, aren't beauty contests a waste of time? Yes. The results will change if the judges are different...

2004-07-23T20:09:00.000-04:00

“Inspiration”

I’ve been having a problem with inspiration of late. Can I be perfectly honest with you? Of course, you don’t care… But I have had less and less inspiration since I lost my best friend and girlfriend. I am not whining; my life is still golden, but in terms of drawing and writing, my motivation and inspiration has dropped, a devastating spiral of utter despair. But this is not her fault. Everybody loses a love one every now and then. We here at PSP have had our share of pain and suffering. Yes, even Rutherford has felt the sting of loss love. So this is for all of those people who have lost someone special…

2004-07-22T20:07:00.000-04:00

“Fads” pt. 2 (see 7/19/04)

Without further ado, I will now end the duel that began on the 19th of this month…

2004-07-21T17:59:00.000-04:00

"Crossovers"

Occasionally in show business, a person will get the idea to combine two shows into one, a dreaded move known as a crossover. Some examples of crossovers include "The Jetsons meet the Flintstones" and that episode of "The Simpsons" when Jay Sherman of the show "The Critic" visits Springfield. Those, for the most part work, but there are some crossovers that Hollywood will forever regret...

2004-07-20T20:21:00.000-04:00

“Watching your mouth”

There is a reason why people tell others to be quiet. In fact, there may be several reasons. One could be told to be quiet when the place has noise rules, such as a hospital or library. One could be told to hush up when they have said something rude. But other times, more important times, they are told to shut up for their own protection. Yes it is at these points when we must learn what to say and what to keep to ourselves…

2004-07-19T17:38:00.000-04:00

"Fads"

Before I start, Happy Bday to my brother...

Trends, or fads, come and they go. Disco, Bell-bottoms, and high-top fades have all gone the way of the dinosaurs. They have been replaced by Hip-hop, Throwbacks, and cornrolls. But just like their predecessors, all fads must go. All trends must end. But sometimes the fad doesn't want to go. Sometimes it will hang on for dear life. It is then that somebody has to take action...

2004-07-18T17:33:00.000-04:00

"Laws"

Rules, contrary to the "wisdom" of the old adage, are not meant to be broken. They are there to be followed and are, ideally, for the bettering of human kind. We all give up doing whatever we want to enlist society's protection from others. We give up absolute freedom for protection. Some rules, like the speed limit, are often enforced with leniency. Other laws are enforced in the strictest manner possible...

2004-07-17T11:34:00.000-04:00

"Thoughts"

There is nothing so private, so intimate as one's own thoughts. No matter what somebody says or does, no matter the face that they show the world, the only way to truly understand somebody is to know their thoughts. To be able to think like somebody else gives you a special insight into their lives. Why do you think when something is lost people say, "If I was a _____, where would I hide?" It is simply because to understand the thought process is to understand the essence. So no matter how long you've "known" someone, no matter how close to you they are, if you can't understand their thought processes, then you might not know them at all...

2004-07-16T18:54:00.000-04:00

"100th POST!!!"

This is my 100th post!!! So no philisophic jargon today... nope none. Since I started with a Rutherford (the penguin) comic, it is only fitting to do another one for today's post. Enjoy...

2004-07-15T13:46:00.000-04:00

"The Celebrity Life" pt.2 (see 6/21/04)

As mentioned earlier, the celebrity life isn't all fun and games. As glamorous as it may seem at times, celebrities have their problems. No matter how good the situations seem on the screen, no matter how tightly knit a group seems to be, it always seems to fall apart. To put it elegantly, in the immortal words of the great Robert Frost: "nothing gold can stay..."

2004-07-14T06:48:00.001-04:00

"Infomercials"

Before I start: Happy Bday to my sister. Now back to the show...

Infomercials... you know them, the late night, long ads featuring cheesy music and cheesier products. They often include a B-level celebrity trying to hawk a pile of junk and have "regular people" give testimonials about the product. Then they compare it to other "similar" products, which don't come close to the quality of the value. Then they will slash the price several times and offer a bonus "gift" for purchasing the tripe immediately. Sometimes these ads are effective; however, usually they are just trying to sell something unneeded, a luxury, or something totally, utterly, and completely worthless...

2004-07-13T15:01:00.000-04:00

"Trust"

Who do you trust and why? There are a set of rules set up by you, usually subconsciously, to determine who is trustworthy or not. We don't trust everyone. We might not trust anyone, especially if you're a teenager at this current point. Either way we must be careful who we trust because even the most comfortable, beautiful siren's voice leads to jagged rocks...

2004-07-12T14:55:00.000-04:00

"Bias"

Everyone is different in some way. It is USUALLY wrong to discriminate based on those differences. One example of when it is NOT wrong to bias someone is when choosing a babysitter, as you do not want to pick a pedophile. Bias can be good, and when it is good we tend to call it judgement, but what about bad bias...

2004-07-11T14:49:00.000-04:00

"Perspective"

One man's trash is another man's treasure. That lstatement is amazingly accurate. Some people like peas, and others can not stand the taste of the sweet, round veggie. Some people are into fireworks, while others would cringe at the very sight and/or sound of them. Some people can sit through operas and enjoy every minute of it, others would rather face the fire and brimstone-laced pits of hell. Yes, indeed what some think of as torture, others enjoy...

2004-07-10T11:54:00.000-04:00

"Names"

What's in a name? A rose by any other name would smell just as sweet... Ha! Have you ever noticed that when you look at a person named Sam, he/ she looks like a Sam. Like that is supposed to be their name? That is because names are psychological as well as practical. Just like married couples start to look like one another and just like pets and their owners share a resemblance, it is because when you are exposed to something for long enough you tend to adapt to it. That is why you should be careful what you name your children, and why you should choose your nickname carefully...

2004-07-09T13:01:00.000-04:00

"Visions of Hell" pt. 3 (see 6/11/2004 and 6/12/2004)

Here is another vision of hell...

2004-07-08T15:54:00.000-04:00

"Hypocrisy"

Saying one thing and doing another is hypocrisy. And I can't stand hypocrisy, or hypocrites. Those people who feign holiness, but are actually the dirtiest, low down, sickening people you'll ever meet. But there are degrees of hypocrisy. Like when a woman yells at a man for that poster he has in his room, but...

2004-07-07T10:20:00.000-04:00

"Familiarity"

There is something to be said about new experiences. In fact, everybody loves the occasional thrill of experiencing something totally different. Every nerd thinks about beating up the bully. Every idiot thinks about inventing something totally new. But there is something also to be said about routine. Although they can be tedious, they can also be comforting. There is comfort in knowing what will happen next...

2004-07-06T17:12:00.000-04:00

"Seeing the future"

Humans are fragile, insecure beings. And as a result we need constant reassurance. Whether that reassurance comes in the form of a two decade old teddy bear or a small silver dolphin ring, we need something to reassure us. One common way humans try to reassure themselves is by trying to predict the future: Tarot cards, psychics, fortune cookies. But there is one form that people really rely on...

2004-07-05T14:05:00.000-04:00

"Arch-enemies pt. 2" (see 6/26/2004)

As necessary as enemies are, they are equally annoying. Anyone or anything who spends more than two percent of their day trying to foil your attempts at happiness will succeed a decent amount of time. Even if they fail in their original attempts, they will have succeeded in annoying you, and so even if the big victory is yours, they have still accomplished something. Enemies seldomly take a break. They are always looking for an entrance, a manner by which to get to their victim. And when they see that opening, they will take it...

2004-07-04T20:21:00.000-04:00

"Independence Day"

Today is July 4... It is America's 228th Birthday. The day that America celebrates the founding of a new nation. The beautiful (although not perfect) United States of America. Happy B-day USA...

2004-07-03T16:22:00.000-04:00

"Perfection"

Before I start... Happy B-day to me... the big 21. I can now legally get drunk. I can, but I probably won't. Thanks 'Los for updating the site in my absence. When the world is being overrun with Elmo's troops, I'll make sure your death is quick and painless. Well, at least it will be quick...

Practice makes perfect, but perfection is not attainable... so why practice? Because we still want to reach perfection. No matter what we do, we strive for perfection in that endeavor. But it is impossible, no matter how hard we try, no matter what the vision, we can never EVER attain perfection. Everybody makes mistakes...

2004-07-02T10:00:00.000-04:00

"Disappointments"

Most people would agree that we, as humans, enjoy free will. However, I would say that this free will is not truly free at all. There are too many influences around for it to be free. We try to impress someone, and this affects our judgment, our will. Pressures come from all points and we give in to some of them. But nothing stings so much as disappointing a loved one...

2004-07-01T09:26:00.000-04:00

"Food Safety" pt. 2 see 6/8/04

In the first "Food Safety" we saw how genetic modification to food can harm the health of the consumer. However, that is not the only health factor that one has to consider when dealing with food. Often, when talking about genetically modified foods we are talking about foods that have been pumped with nutrition and helpful genes, but what about the opposite? What happens when the food is diseased...

2004-06-30T13:02:00.000-04:00

"Tricking one's self" see Honesty (6/28/04)

Before I start...
Lacking a girlfriend has resulted in several blows to PSP (Project Sporked Penguin) quality. First, I have hit writer's block because of lack of inspiration. In addition, because I lack a girlfriend, I have been going out a LOT more. This explosion in a social life has resulted in a lack of time to think/draw/write for PSP. Also my birthday is coming up (July 3), along with one of my favorite holidays, 4th of July (America's Independence Day). So it is hard to focus. This doesn't mean that I will stop PSP. I'm just explaining the lack of quality...

Also...
Obesity is no joke. It is a disease, but it can be treated. There are places/people who are willing to help. My intentions are not to offend anyone in any way. If I have offended you then you can email me at moosepod@hotmail.com.

And now back to your regularly scheduled programming...

Tricking one's self is an all too common defense mechanism. We do it in our everyday lives. Homely people look in the mirror and say that they are beautiful. Thin women look in the mirror and say that they are fat. But there is one form of tricking one's self that I never understood...

2004-06-29T19:18:00.000-04:00

"Hard Work"

Hard work is it's own reward. However, when you work hard, you (generally) get a nice, extra reward. That isn't the case with this comic. Three times I drew it, three times my computers acted up. The drawing got worse and worse, until the fourth time which is the one following this. No matter how hard you work though, and no matter what the reward, you will inevitably end up spending it all on something too expensive. You will inevitably be overcharged for something. As it is now, it always was...

2004-06-28T18:31:00.000-04:00

”Honesty”

Honesty is one of the most admirable traits that a human can have. In fact, we depend on honesty. We rely on the fact that our food is safe and that the USDA (U.S. Department of Agriculture) has adequately checked and approved the foods that we eat. We rely on honesty in the courtroom and in relationships. But sometimes, honesty is just overrated…

2004-06-27T18:29:00.000-04:00

”Beginnings” (see 6/19/04 and 6/23/04)

Recap…
Elmo has taken over the world. Someone has to protect the innocent from the iron fists of Elmo and his evil, but efficient right-hand goon known only as “The Man.” Enter the Mujer. Every tale has a beginning. Every superhero has the story about how his/her powers came into being. The Mujer is no different…

2004-06-26T15:25:00.000-04:00

"Arch-enemies"

Whether a proponent of good or of evil, one has to have enemies. Whether or not she knew it, there were people who wanted Mother Teresa to fail. EVERYONE has some enemy, and everybody needs one. How boring would the world be without conflicts? How mundane? The best of your enemies would be your Arch-enemy, your nemesis. He/She/It/They somehow always manage(s) to find a way to foil you. Or at least they try to make your life as hellish as possible...

2004-06-25T12:44:00.000-04:00

"Plastics"

Plastics are used in almost everything these days. This keyboard, this monitor, this mouse, these speakers, and parts of the tower too all contain some plastic. Plastics have revolutionized the packing industry, the food industry, the automotive industry, etc. Yet some people are contra-plastic. Some people get upset about the plastic rings on sodas, some people hate plastic bags, etc. The plastic rings have killed some aquatic animals, but that can be solved with a pair of scissors. The plastic bags can't be broken down, but you can reuse them. But plastics get an overwhelming thumbs up when you consider the following upside...

2004-06-24T13:20:00.000-04:00

"Struggle"

Since nobody is perfect (except for some guy who walked on earth approximately 2000 years ago), everybody struggles with something. Indeed it is true that some have less struggles to deal with than others. Life isn't fair, but all people have at least one struggle that they are dealing with/ will deal with/ have dealt with. And that is adolescence. Perhaps the most unbearable time in life. The bitter struggle with identity, parents, social peers, authorities. Everything about adolescence is a struggle...

2004-06-23T16:05:00.000-04:00

"Space"

There is no bigger secular mystery than space. We humans have a thirst for knowledge, and as we learn more and more about our planet, we wonder more and more about others. So we send machines and we write books, all in the name of science. In the name of learning. We love to learn. We may not like school, but we like to know things. We wonder about the stars, about other planets, and about the possibility of other, extraterrestrial lifeforms...

2004-06-22T16:01:00.000-04:00

"Evil"

All of life can be boiled down to good versus evil. That may be an oversimplification, but it works on most levels. Even what you have for dinner fits into this category. Say that you have candy, which will rot your teeth, mess up your body chemistry, and probably result in you gaining weight. You will become a toothless obese being and probably lose your modeling gigs. That is evil. But if you eat a well-balanced meal, you will be healthy and attractive and your boss will hit on you and you will sue the company, and become a multi-millionaire. That is good. As you know good can come out of evil (your boss sexually harrasing you is evil, but you becoming rich is good). But many do not believe that the reverse is possible. They would be wrong. Just like every cloud has a silver lining, every silver lining has it's cloud, and clouds mean rain, thunder and lightening...

2004-06-21T19:14:00.000-04:00

"The Celebrity Life"

Isn't it glamorous? The lights, the money, the mansions, and cars, and everything? The only real problems with the celebrity life are the random photos, the people in your business, and a hellish schedule, right? No. Celebrities have other, normal, problems too. They also have kid troubles, they also have funerals to attend, and yes, they also have marital problems...

2004-06-20T19:11:00.000-04:00

"Happy Father's Day"

Today is Father's Day and I want to wish all of the real fathers a Blessed Father's Day...

2004-06-19T19:07:00.000-04:00

"Luck"

"Today is my lucky day." No, there is no such thing as "luck." The idea of luck has one good point, however, which is that it gives people something to believe in. But no matter how you boil it, if it is intended for you to have a bad day, there is nothing that will protect you, no matter how superstitious you are...

2004-06-18T19:02:00.000-04:00

"Movies"

Perhaps nothing is as common as movie dates, in today's courtship rituals. Movies allow us to leave our own world and get caught up in a fantasy. That is the whole point. And the advertisements for movies make most movies look superb. One can blame that on "The Movie Voice." No matter what he says, it always sounds cool...

2004-06-17T18:58:00.000-04:00

"Advertisements" pt.2 (see 5/8/2004)

Nothing shows a consumer culture more than the advertisements. They are everywhere. The more effective ones force us to remember the product and wish to buy it. And often times advertisers succeed in doing so. Sometimes, however, we are misled...

2004-06-16T18:54:00.000-04:00

"Innocence"

In the American justice system, we are supposed to assume innocence. It is the part of the prosecution to prove the defendant guilty. Yet in the social world outside of the courtroom, we do no such thing. We assume guilt, what would happen if that attitude was extended into the courtroom (as it sometimes is)...

2004-06-15T14:52:00.000-04:00

"Revenge"

Revenge is a dish best served cold. Indeed revenge is a sweet gift. There is nothing like karma coming back to haunt a former (or present) offender, especially when the offended is the one who brings the offender to justice...

2004-06-14T14:45:00.000-04:00

"Private Lives" pt.2 (see 6/2/2004)

I am in no way condoning spying on your favorite superhero, I would never spy on my personal favorite. All the others however, are fair game...

2004-06-13T21:02:00.000-04:00

"Rumors"

Highschool is terrible for some people, and why? Because they have to maintain a good reputation. There is nothing that kills a reputation quicker than "juicy gossip." A rumor has ways of ruining people's lives. But there are also more benign rumors. Such as spreading a rumor about one's own genitalia size. But regardless of what the rumor is, they all come back to haunt the originator...

2004-06-12T20:50:00.000-04:00

"Visions of Hell" pt. 2(see 6/11/2004)

Hell on earth... Hell on earth is walking in on your parents while they are creating a sibling for you. Yes, hell has many forms. Without further ado, here is another vision of hell...

2004-06-11T20:43:00.000-04:00

"Visions of Hell"

What is hell? Many religions have views on an afterlife, and some even have a place where the evil are punished. That place, in Christianity, is called hell. It is a place of fire, brimstone, and gnashing of teeth. It is a place of eternal torment. It is a place not unlike being on "the red carpet" with Joan and Melissa Rivers. But hell is not just a religious concept. There is hell on earth...

2004-06-10T14:41:00.000-04:00

"The Judicial System"

Although it isn't true in all countries, more and more lawyers are being spawned. Satan must be quite busy (kidding). In today's society, it is quite possible (at least in America) to sue anyone for any reason. A criminal has sued (and won) because he fell through the skyroof onto a knife while trying to rob a house. He sued the owners, and he won... A lady sued McDonald's because she spilled coffee on herself... yet another man sued McDonald's and other fast food places for aiding his corpusculance (in other words, he overeats and blames it on the food places). Yet these aren't even the most nonsensical cases...